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DJ Groupies: The Frightening EDM Epidemic

 

DJ Groupies: The Frightening EDM Epidemic

 

There is a strange disease infecting EDM fans all over the world, and doctors have thus far been baffled by its cause and powerless to treat it. I have dubbed it: DJ Groupie Syndrome.

The disease is characterized by increasingly desperate and irrational behavior, in which the victim repeatedly attempts to associate themselves with a famous DJ by whatever means possible. EDMsnob.com reporters have risked their lives to capture this footage of an untreated infected woman with a severe form of the disease:

The scary part is, we all know someone like the person in the video. It blows my mind that EDM superstars are becoming more and more like regular superstars. Maybe that’s because EDM fans are becoming more and more like regular fans?

EDM producers are just regular people like you and I. Many of them are incredibly creative, talented people to be sure, but they’re still human. I don’t understand the whole obsession with standing next to a famous artists on stage. A lot of people say they just want to meet their favorite producer and thank him personally for the music he makes, but that’s not true. They want to be seen as important and famous. Ridiculous.

Fame is a strange thing. A friend of mine who happens to be a very famous EDM producer told me, “Fame is kind of like the sun. Everyone wants it sometimes, but if you can’t ever get away from it, it becomes just as much of a curse as a blessing.” Famous people are culturally useful because they provide common ground. I can’t talk to someone from Georgia about LA traffic, but Paris Hilton’s latest stupidity could be a great conversation starter. Celebrities connect us as people.

With EDM, we’ve taken it a little too far. The music should be the focus, not the musician. And producers/DJs, I know you read this blog, because a number of you have reached out, so let me say this: mainstream is a one-way street. Every step you take down that path will be one you can’t take back. Think about the way you value your private life. Are you willing to trade that for more money? Because when you reach that level of mainstream celebrity, private life is over. Everything you do is news.

Personally, I want to see every show and festival headlined by this guy.

Don’t worry, everyone sees their own page. The point is, the true headliner is YOU. Any show would be a bust without the fans there having a great time. EDM, more than any other kind of music, has always been about the people you’re with when you’re enjoying it. The most important person at the show isn’t on stage, they’re next to you. The best shows and festivals have the best attendees, because the people that are there make it the best. Remember that.

And if you’re worried about getting DJ Groupie Syndrome, I recommend the vaccine just developed by Snob Industries: 500mg of perspective.

The Snob

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